Monday, April 17, 2017

Gmail and Youtube Help

so i wasted three days of my life trying to get help from Gmail and Youtube customer service.
their help pages are a fucking joke.
I called the support number and the fucking idiot "Ronnie" disconnected with me twice. ive never had such shitty customer service in all my life. and trust me, i used to work in it so i always had to kiss everyone's fucking ass!
gmail wont verify my fucking account is mine, and neither will youtube.
i cant talk to a real person at youtube help, and some mother fucker from customer service was a asshole to me and disconnected me twice.
all im trying to do is get into my god damn email account. why cant anyone help me?????
holy fuck! my blood pressure must be through the fucking roof!!!
if youre looking for any kind of customer service from either google, gmail or youtube, you might as well just say fuck it!!!!
im am very pissed the fuck off!!

Sunday, April 16, 2017

grahhhh

so my ex is still gone and i dont care.
leave me then idc really
just wanted to throw that out there

Marapets

i joined marapets today. its okay. i played around on the site a little bit and its okay, but i dont see myself playing it daily like i do on Neopets.
so...idk if its very popular but see what happens i guess.
i played runescape it was okay. was boring bc Cinnia wasnt on there with me. shes my best friend if you didnt know. lol
well, what else do i want to talk about..

im pissy and in a bad mood.

but i made a couple new friends on twitter so im pretty happy about that.
lol
cash me ousside how you feel bow dah LOL
i saw her on youtube and shes pretty cool. danielle brigioli? i cant spell her name but shes funny :)

facebook

sometimes i really hate facebook. it makes me feel like everyone on there hates me in the art community. i cant upload any of my work without people being mean to me. i dont know why... i get horrible anxiety whenever i think of going on the site or app.
people live on fucking facebook i swear.
and sorry for swearing on Easter Sunday.
im really tired of ppl harassing me and bothering me so thats why i like twitter.

Sunday, April 9, 2017

visited my mom

ok so i went and visited my mom today. i had to work this morning so by the time i got there, it was 1pm in the afternoon. i only had breakfast. so when i got there, my mom said they already ate and didnt have anything to give me to eat for lunch. so i went to my other grandma's and she gave me some dinner. it wasnt anything fancy it was beans on toast. and rice.
but it makes me wonder though. i see she got new cellphones for her and her husband (my stepdad)
and is leasing yet another new vehicle. i find that funny.

so when Janet gives me something to eat i appreciate it because it means i know i can eat dinner tonight. today i didnt work at the factory so i couldnt get anything to eat. i ate later with my grandma (my mom's mom)

i had a chocolate bunny from niagara chocolate and it was good. now my sugar is really high. so no more sweets for a while for me. i should of only had a bite or two but i ate almost half of it :x

well im gonna play around on Neopets then get on old school Runescape for a while. ciao

Saturday, April 8, 2017

Runescape

im trying to download the old school runescape that i used to play at the public library when i was in highschool. not sure if ill like it or not. but ill see.
not sure if ill be able to get into my old name..but itll be fun to play and see where it goes.
i may just start over with a new name and a new pseudonym. idk.
does any of you guys play that game?  anyone out there?
idk if ill stick with it. i dont want to go back to imvu but maybe...eh it holds too many bad memories.
anyways im going to see how the download came out bc im using chrome.
ill report back if i feel like it.

Beauty & the Beast

I treated my grandma to the movies today. she hasnt gone in years and neither have I. we saw Beauty & the Beast because she wanted to see it. I really didn't at first but then I saw it and I really liked it.
I'm not one for romance movies but it was good. Very good.
I really liked Emma Watson who played as Belle. She was fantastic. And they did a super job of creating the beast. He was really cool.
I always wished that I could be Belle as a kid. I used to sing her songs and pretend I was Belle.If you haven't seen the movie you should. It was beautiful, the effects, the sound, image, everything.

My boyfriend came back.  Im happy about that. Although..it doesn't feel the same..
things became rough on his end with his ex I guess and he drank too much and all kinds of things..
Something doesn't feel right...
I really hope everything turns out okay..

Thursday, April 6, 2017

actually I do

Actually I have more to say before I go to bed.
I'll be realistic with you guys.
True love doesn't exist. It only does in the lies fabricated by the media, and fairy tales.
Anyone who tells you that they love you and promises never to leave, it's a lie. It's very unrealistic and gives us unrealistic expectations of love and when they never work out, we become upset.
But if you have someone, and are married now, good for you. Glad to know that things worked out for you.
Because of  my exes, especially this last one, is the reason that I don't believe in love anymore.
I was hoping that I would log into my twitter or whatsapp and get a message from him explaining everything but nope. couldn't even get that.
I think that I was led on..maybe this was all planned right from the start.
I don't know.
but I do know is that..I should have seen this sooner. I should have figured that the ex would of came back to him right when I found out they had a kid together. Isn't that always the case? and I find it funny that she just became civil with him and claimed they won't fight for the sake of their kid. Then he tells me his dad told him he was stupid for leaving his ex. Then guess what? magically the next day he's gone and deleted his twitter and whatsapp.
So then there's me. Here I am..heartbroken and stupid for believing he actually meant what he said.
The next time anyone tells me they promise they won't leave, and promise they love me or care for me..I won't believe it.
Not a single person that has told me that has ever stayed. Why the hell would you make a promise like that to someone and get their hopes up? I will never know.

At this point I am considering deleting my twitter. The only reason I have it is to talk to a couple of people. And repost anxiety thoughts and so on. That's all I can do.
Unfortunately it may just be a sad reminder that he isn't coming back.
If this was a joke, it's not funny and I'm not laughing.
It isn't fun on there anymore.
What will I do now? getting on and hoping to get a message from you but never do?
Real funny.
You knew this would hurt me, but you did it anyways.
I'm broken and miserable..
Thanks a lot.
I hope you sleep well at night.
so for tonight's lesson; don't make unrealistic promises that you can't keep or have absolutely no intention of keeping.
Thanks.

Sincerely,

A shell of a person.




eh

I got sick at work due to lack of sleep and not enough to eat.
Janet brought me fish-sticks with gravy and green beans for dinner.
It's really different not hearing from my ex...
I wonder if hes even thinking of me..probably not.
Well, nothing really more to say.

Goodnight.

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

ernie's circus of shit

i saw under ernie's store this description. i think its funny. its the first smile i had all day. so you can read it too. i didn't make it up:
have you wandered aimlessly in the wasteland they call the city.don't waste your time in those other shops come here to Ernie's circus of bargains. a bargain in every buck a buck in every pocket a pocket in every trouser.those other stores have been reported to have problems with infestation, that's right big big tumors on those rats we have pictures to prove it and i don't even wanna look at them ugh.crazy Ernie's emporium of total bargain madness where you ride the Ferris wheel of savings.if you like cheap stuff you're in luck. you can buy baby wipes or a baby rattle a ring for your wife or a ping pong paddle. when there's trouble you know who to call crazy Ernie. from his tower he can see it all crazy Ernie. when there's villains on the attack, you can rest knowing hes got your back. and when the world world needs heroes on patrol crazy Ernie go. with his super powers he unites crazy Ernie. never met a villain that he liked crazy Ernie. he's got the bad guys on the run, he never stops till the job is done.and when the world is losing all control crazy Ernie go. you take the moon and you take the sun you take everything that seems like fun you stir it all up and when you're done radda radda radda radda radda radda so come on in feel free to do some looking stay a while cause...um Ernie is always selling.i love Ernie's chicken cluck cluck cluck you touch my chicken ill beat you up if he fries his chicken i gotta go if you ask me for a piece you're out the door (no handouts)barbecue sauce finger licking licking your lips gotta have Ernie's chicken with prices so good ill fight you for some chicken do the mike Tyson ill bite you for some chicken fry my chicken fillet my chicken grill my chicken you can bake my chicken Ernie knows how to rock that chicken in his kitchen tastes so crispy. i'm taking the chicken out Ernie's store don't really care how hungry you are i guess its the sweet aroma i'm taking the chicken out of Ernie's store. it started with an alien device and what it did it stuck itself upon his wrist the secrets that it hid now hes got super powers hes no ordinary kid he's crazy Ernie so if you see him you might be in for a great surprise hell turn into an alien before your very eyes hes crazy strong and super fast hes every shape and size hes crazy Ernie armed with super powers hes on the case fighting evil monsters from earth or space he will never stop till he makes them pay cause hes the baddest kid who ever saved the day crazy Ernie.aint you lucky you got em crazy Ernie's.love that chicken from crazy Ernie's.you wish your son would call you more i seance you've been here before i'll read your mind if i am able something tells me your names Mabel so welcome all ye to the tent of telepath... i mean crazy Ernie's and thanks for visiting little old me.

crying

i really wish that i could stop crying..
i was sick all day
im sick to my stomach, i have a headache, i feel miserable. my whole body is in pain.
why am i even typing this? you wont ever read it anyways.
fuck me i guess.
maybe i wasnt pretty enough to make you stay..
she was there and i am not.
i cant think about this anymore....

fuck love

"You knew that this would kill me,
But you carried on and on, with your selfish shit.
Everyone cared about you. Why couldn't you,


Damn right, I am still pissed.

Kiss my fist, taste the floor, tired of your games. goodbye." -Atreyu lyrics

im still hurt
those lyrics really speak to me
i know that im hurt. do you? or should i ask, do you care?
the only reason why i haven't left twitter now is because of the couple of real friends that i made, and that youre absolutely gone. but i hope that you will come back. i will keep my twitter in hopes you will return. but i doubt that you will.
you promised you werent like everyone else, but when in fact you were. 
i should of read our old conversations. it kills me inside that you just up and left me...
so did they.
and you did too.
arent you funny?

you read my messages. you didnt reply. i died inside. and because of you i now dont believe in love.
i hope youre happy wherever you are.
because its killing me inside.
my heart is broken.
great.
4-4-17 the day my heart died

headache, heartache, everything

well here I am again. I have a headache and things haven't been going so well.
my boyfriend  just disappeared with no explanation. not sure why. He ignored my messages on whatsapp and everything. I guess I really wasn't mean to be in his life... I bet he went back to his ex girlfriend like his dad wanted him to.
Wellity well, what should I do now? he promised that he would never leave but guess what? i was crying so hard that i really dont know what to do anymore...
as soon as i thought love really worked out for me guess what? best part is, he disappeared from twitter and whatsapp. everything.
i think he went back to his ex. he was too embarrassed to tell me. well guess what? he broke me.
i havent cried this hard in a really long time...
love sucks.
fuck love.

i was sick all day and didnt sleep a wink last night.
i bet he did.

so to deal with my heartbreak, ive been reposting sad quotes and stuff on twitter to help me deal with this shit. i hate love. fuck love. i hate it that he just left without a word...
its like i never mattered...
of course its going to hurt me, what the fuck do you think would happen??

im going to quote some lyrics to help me get out my pain and anger and sadness...

"Hope as left me fucking shattered
Someone's standing on my chest
Alone would be a pleasant change from here
How do you gauge loneliness?
Have you ever felt so alone?
It feels like the light will never reach me here
I am choking back my longing for shed tears
So strangulated by my lonesome fears
Please don't worry too much, it only hurts when I breathe
It only hurts when I breathe (when I breathe)
This only hurts every time I breathe." -Atreyu lyrics

 sadness...is all that i feel. i used to believe in love and i was so happy. and this is what you do to me

Sunday, March 26, 2017

tired..

do you feel really tired all the time? going to bed tired, then waking up just as tired when you wake up? thats how i feel. i want to type more. i want to white about things and express im feeling sad but what would that do? we traded our childhood in for this? this is it??

sundays are always extremely sad.
im usually entertained with all ive got in life. but nope.
i have coke, which i think ill treat myself to can of good old coca cola. eh..
well, now what? anyone out there play neopets? ive spammed twitter for the night so far.

its difficult typing on this new keyboard it keeps going up and messing up my previous typing.
im tired...
i cant focus on watching this religious show on tv i cant concentrate on anything right now..ill get a drink and be back i guess

Cookies notification in European Union countries

i dont know what this notice means...so im going to type it here for all you people over in Europe reading this. i guess it means for all you people in Europe, when visiting this site, it has cookies or something like that..i dont understand it. but i wanted to let you all know. which i dont understand it anyways..


Life in general

Well I suppose that I should update this more. i dont care about any mispellings or anything because im typing on a new laptop.  The only good thing in my life right now is my boyfriend. Everything else seems to be falling apart. I don't understand why it always has to be me to text people first.
Why always do I have to?

if i dont text first, then we wont ever talk again. im so sick of people i really am. i dont know..
im feeling sad and lonely today.
esepcially the bullshit my friend from college said distance is an issue to hangout when he literally lives 30 mins out of town and i live 30 mins out of town ina different direction. he said we cant hang out bc he doesnt have a car. but...he could take the bus right?????? nope he always makes excuses
whatever i guess. idk.

im not sure what to talk about right now. im feeling pretty down in the dumps.

Monday, March 6, 2017

Happy Monday lol

Well I decided not to write again last night. By the time I got my laptop on and going, it went extremely slow then I didn't feel like going on here and blabbing my thoughts.

Today I had a hell of a time waking up this morning. I'm just so exhausted and I don't have any energy. I don't even have a few dollars to get a Red Bull this morning. lol
I'm lazy and tired af. It's one of those days.

Well, I have time to get on the stationary bike before work so I think I'll do that and see if it puts any energy into me. I'm not sure why I feel this way today. I feel groggy or something...brain fog?
Anyways, I hope you all have a happy monday and have a decent day.

zzzzzzzzz

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Ever feel alone?

do you ever feel so alone?
Your only company is cats & TV? When you're not working I mean.
Your only real friends are online & they can't talk?
I need some sort of love in my life.

Oh and going to James' house didn't happen.
A deer hit my car and smashed the driver's side window and side door.
So I thought I should throw that out there.

I logged in Skype and only 2 people were on. Someone I don't know, and someone who rarely uses it.
Online and shit seems just so lonely and devoid of emotion anymore.
I don't get that "rush" about getting online anymore.
There's no more "mysteries" there's no more sleepless nights wondering what the world holds out there..
Is this all in life?
I have not a single sleepless night anymore.
I remember laying awake when I was younger in high school especially thinking "hm what kind of awesome job will I get after graduating?"
I was so excited what things in life I'd have like a job and a lover and maybe even marriage.
Unfortunately those good things aren't in the cards for me.
Most people my age already have kids, and are engaged or married by now.
I'm only in my 20's and life feels like there's no more excitement.

I remember when I was a kid, I saw people getting married & I thought I'd be getting married too.
Of course I always wanted to go to college in England and that never happened.
Actually this is too much to type on my phone so I'll get on the laptop.
Prepare to read my thoughts.
Thanks.
Your friend,

Mickey

Saturday, February 25, 2017

Hm well

Oh look who's back. It's old Mickey.
So what's new here? Not too much I see.
Well let's see. I injured my back at work a week ago & had to make a lovely little trip to the ER and it wasn't fun. I didn't sleep a wink hoping it would go away and guess what? It didn't.
Let's see... I haven't talked to Katie in quite a while.
And she adopted my ex as her roleplay brother which was a big betrayal.
Funny since she only cared if I could send her money. So guess what? If you don't have money then she really couldn't care less for you. So yay. 🙄
And she's also having problems with her mom, so there's that.

The past couple days I've been posting my feelings on twitter since Facebook sucks ass. I hate Facebook with a passion. And I tried to go back home to MySpace and that site on my phone is way beyond glitchy it's not even funny. Sooooo
I guess I'm back here & twitter. Thank goodness I have a couple friends there that actually how I'm doing. Since Katie obviously never did.
Her and my ex make a good pair for each other. Complete losers who guilt trip you into sending money to them. I hope my ex enjoys his 5k he got back from taxes since he claimed his kid & he doesn't work. But it's whatever right? Those two can go be toxic together.
I'm waiting for karma to kick him right in the ass!
Doesn't happen soon enough.

Wellity well, what else should I talk about?
Things in life have become a vicious cycle for me. Work & go home.
Yay. Fun. Not.
So I've been enjoying Baskets on FX, new season. I really am enjoying it.
Christine Baskets named her cats Ronald Reagan and Will Ferrell.
Ronald Reagan always makes me laugh. I'm not a fan of Will ferrell though.
Oh well. Lol

K what else? Ummm...
I drew people on this app where they upload their pics and you draw it.
One guy was an African American and some asshole troll instead of drawing him, you know what they drew? A bucket of KFC fried chicken and watermelon.
That's so racist! They got banned for being racist anyways. It's not funny.
I don't get why people think it's funny.

I'll tell you what was funny though. On South Park. The Lochness Monster needs tree fiddy!
"He stooped down and whispered he needed tree fiddy! I said ain't no way in hell im giving you tree fiddy! Go away!" Haha the Lochness Monster wants it for a box of cereal xD 😂😂
I really wanna watch some South Park now.
The only thing I don't like about South Park was their use of the Lord's name in vein. And having Jesus on a talk show. I know the Lord has a sense of humor but still.
Same goes for Family Guy.
Uh I still think Family Guy should of killed off Meg though since she's a stupid and emotional character that people just love to hate.
Herbert is one of my favorite characters & I still try to do his whistle when he speaks but I can't.
"YMCA it's fun to stay at the YMCA! MMMMMM"

Sooo yeah I'm gonna watch some YouTube
Don't mind if I do.
Cheerio and no really... I need tree fiddy!